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Any questions on all things audio & video please let me know.
I've designed and installed everything from simple 2-channel systems to world-class production studios and private screening rooms for the rich, famous, and infamous.
From mild to wild I have recommendations.
Since my wife won't talk to me anymore about this or anything else I need to find someone to engage.

I've been trying to nail this one down... when a singer asks for reverb in their monitor, does that make things more likely to get feedback? It seems to be but I don't have any hard data to prove it.

I'm no audio engineer but afaik it depends.

Reverb has wet out and dry out. If the magnitude of wet out + dry out > original signal then yes, but if < then no. It's the amplification that matters.

Mixing audio for monitors is an area in that I have limited experience as we usually had a dedicated engineer or in a lot of cases was handled by the band. Some fast and loose advice. Reverb for on-stage monitors can certainly cause issues, feedback being a big one so as little delay and gain as possible. For in-ear, I find I need more reverb to bring back a sense of space that is lost to the isolation. Also limiting effects to certain channels can be helpful. Again not that much experience here as it's pretty specialized. I've listened to some of the mixes that musicians prefer and some are really flat while others are so hot it sounds like a drill in your ears. How some of these guys can hear at all is a mystery. My guess is they can't.